It’s Sunday, January 12th, 2020 and after my coffee I’m going to take down our Christmas trees. This got me thinking “Am I late?” ‘Do other houses have their Christmas trees up still?” “How are people doing with their New Year’s resolutions?” Then I stuck there: how are my friends doing with their New Year’s agendas? There have been plenty of memes going around the Interwebs with jokes about “Same year, same me,” or, “I tried, I’m done.” The truth is we live in a culture with an avid support group for justification of failure. We also live in the very same culture with an abundance of praise for people doing better than us. What about the majority in the middle? The folks who have eaten just a little bit better, or made their own Peloton bike workout in the garage, or spent a little less money, or tried “Dry January” and only made it the weekdays? Can we please give these people props? And, if we ourselves didn’t even make it that far, can we strive to be like these people—one small step?
There is scientific proof showing attempts at habit modification are better than no action at all. Science aside, look at how self-improvement attempts make their way into your nomenclature. You talk to friends about “Dry January,” you tell people you “Fell off the Keto caravan,” and this language is giving meaning to the reality—you did something! You did a thing! More attention needs to paid to trying small steps and making changes. If your goal was to lose 10 pounds (which is a whole different blog about goals and measurement), and you only lost one pound, or if you FEEL better for having gone to yoga—that should go down as the win. Skip the 10 pounds and focus on the accomplishment. It’s not failure, it’s a reframe of success. This is a simple thought process that’s been talked about for years, but I think busy adults need a reminder. We can manifest this in two ways, personal and professional.
1) In the personal world, we can focus our positivity and attention on the steps we are making to self-improvement. If you’ve fallen off the “Dry January” bandwagon, did you at least try? That’s a win. Did you research ways to use less alcohol during the week? How about this—did you verbalize and actuate why it is you want to stop drinking in the first place? And, if not, start there. Those are wins. If alcohol isn’t your thing, replace this example with food, time with loved ones, kids, yoga, reading.
2) In the professional world, have you listed your goals for 2020? Are you giving enough time to your personal world? Sometimes I find myself working well into the night. This makes me feel good, but makes me slow in the morning. Are you “trying” less screen time, more client calls, more research? I know, I know Yoda—there is no try only do, so do this: do one thing on your list instead of complaining that you’ve done none.
So, it’s confession time. The reason the Christmas trees aren’t down is because I’ve been doing a new yoga class in the evenings. I also have to admit when I walk in the door and see the trees I get a little frustrated they’re still up. But, I’ve had to reframe my successes here. I wanted these trees down by January 2nd. What I’ve been telling myself is this: I’ve been going to my new yoga class since January 2nd, and taking my own suggestion here: that’s a win!
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